Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Ugliest Vestment Contest!



Between Ma Beck, the macaw and Roman Sacristan I have a challenge open to everyone... FIND ME THE THE UGLIEST VESTMENT.

Send me a link to your submissions in the com-box OR email them to the_crescat@yahoo.com and I'll post them all so we can vote. The winner will get a nice kitschy prize. ooo. ahhh.

Deadline for submissions is December 10th. Voting will begin December 14th.

Note: These vestments don't necessarily have to be Catholic but you'll get extra points if they are. They can also be any type of vestment not just a hideous chasuble. Spread the word and scour the Internet to see what you can find.

43 comments:

Donna said...

Try this one. It's on ebay at

http://item.express.ebay.com/_Religion-Spirituality__Red-Chasuble-The-Spirit-Flows-Among-Us_W0QQitemZ290094723592QQihZ019QQadnZReligionQ20Q26Q20SpiritualityQQptdiZ1009QQcmdZExpressItem

There are two images for your viewing pleasure.

Sanctus Belle said...

here's one from "Beauty tips for ministers"

http://peacebang.com/beautytipsforministers/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/clergy-couture.jpg

Roman Sacristan said...

I think one rule should be that we can't use the pope's vestment set from Austria. That one may be hard to beat.

Sanctus Belle said...

Ok, here's another one from Beauty tips for ministers...

http://peacebang.com/beautytipsforministers/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/clergy-suit-200x389.jpg

To quote Diogenes, "We are a spandex people..."

Carolina Cannonball said...

donna, not surprising, from the link...

" 10% of all sales of my vestments go to Women’s Ordination Conference "

Sanctus Belle said...

Sorry! Just one more!

http://peacebang.com/beautytipsforministers/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/jan-laurie.jpg

ignorant redneck said...

I just may have to change to the Eitheopian nan-chacedonic othrodox church to get away from that chasbule--a lifetime of eating teff on an arid moutain top wearing a few rags would be preferable to seeing that!

Roman Sacristan said...

I've been searching. My eyes are bleeding!

Ma Beck said...

I have seen some mighty ugly vestments in my searching, but I think Mr. Macaw still leads the pack, if we're judging on
1) bad material
2) bad subject matter
3) bad use of multiple colors
4) ostentatiousness
5) hilarity

Carolina Cannonball said...

macaw is officially out of the running and not allowed to be used as a submission. It would have to be bc none compare. lol

Tim said...

Yikes No. 1
Yikes No. 1

I'm not sure if I'm up for this. Maybe if I take my glasses off it won't be so bad. Also, there should be a corresponding contest for the coolest vestments. This would be one of my entries:

Cool No. 1. The priest should be wearing this at my funeral!

Carolina Cannonball said...

Tim- very cool indeed. A good idea for next year maybe.

Adding your submissions to the list... congo vestment rflmao!!!
extra points for having cardinal sean pictured w. the vestment!

Carolina Cannonball said...

Tim, can you make a name for the other vestment? (ex. congo vestment, clerical couture etc.) when I post them I can use the names for the final polling. Its just make keeping all the entries in order.

Thanks.

Carolina Cannonball said...

Im gonna throw my submission for the shit Episcopalian Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schoriwore at her installation.

Barf. A woman in a mitre!
http://lutheranzephyr.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/pb_invest_cath_kjs_md.jpg

wWolf said...

Is this for the bishop of Emerald City?

Ma Beck said...

CC -
Re: Schori, see my post from today.
Great minds think alike.
Good God, woman.
Have you no sense of decency?

;)

ArchAngel's Advocate said...

Too bad I don't have the picture of what the Father President wore for the Baccalaurate Mass when I graduated from USF (henceforth known as Useless-F). It was silk in the school colors (Green & Gold) in a checkerboard of 18 inch squares. We took to calling it the "Racing Silks" because that's what it looked like.

Roman Sacristan said...

Drat! Tim stole two of mine.

Terry Nelson said...

Well this one, of course my darling:

http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/Pics/B16_ugly_blue_vestment_Mariazell.jpg

There is nothing worse.

The Perpetual Malcontent said...

Bishop Pabillo in his episcopal ordination looked like he was wearing a rice sack for a chasuble:

http://www.rcam.org/photogallery/episcopal_ordination_of_bishop_pabillo/ordination/pages/pic37_JPG.htm

And yes, he's not wearing an alb.

Matt said...

Thats not vestments. Thats dashiki.

but seriously, don't Roman Catholics have a rule against "remarkable vestments"?

Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ said...

How horrible!

Roman Sacristan said...

The problem with the Macaw vestment is that you can easily see it's a Macaw. If you took the picture and put it on a tree background it'd look good. It's just highly inappropriate for a vestment.
An really ugly vestment is just indescribable (unless you use the words "blob" "some type of shape" or "[censored]"

I sent my entries thus far to your email, CC.

Tim said...

CC, my unofficial names for the other vestment is Convenient Crosshairs or LSD Piechart. Take your pick.

Tim said...

The Long And Winding Road. I'm guessing it's from the Beatles fine line of licensed vestments.

CrazyQuilt Vestment Strangely enough made by a moth!?!

Toxic Waste Vestment

For the Football Liturgy On the bright side, any priest using these would be sure to have 50 yard line seats in hell!

Hand Towel. Great for liturgy and cleaning up after finger painting.

Fish Monger. On the back it says, "I'd Rather Be Fishing".

The upside of this search is I'm seeing lots of very nice vestments, either on display in museums or in use.

swissmiss said...

I posted this on Ma Beck's, but see you're taking the entries.

Mine is more tailored than most. For all the women priests in your diocese.

Gaudete Sunday

a thorn in the pew said...

Ok, I think I found a good one:

http://www.ric-masten.net/Media/Art%20and%20Photos/%20Wedding%20Page/Robe2sides.jpg

Here's a bigger photo so you can see more detail:

http://www.livingseaimages.com/photo/Images/CD_Hist/Larges/308L32

This is pretty in a "global warming" sort of way:

http://www.livingseaimages.com/photo/Images/CD_Hist/Larges/308L32

swissmiss said...

This one isn't nearly as elaborate as some, but the selling point is that it comes in a variety of colors, like shades of grey, greens, purples...

Check out Sunrise

swissmiss said...

Oops...don't know why that happened.

Try this Sunrise

Andrew said...

Ok, here's my submission.

Beat this. Courtesy of CathCon. I

This is why we ought to have an unmarried priesthood. Cos the priest's kids might just draw on their vestments.

I might have submitted something original from around these parts, but it will probably offend some of our readers =)

Andrew said...

Ugliest mitre

Carolina Cannonball said...

thorn.... oh, sweet Jesus!

Tim said...

Andrew, that mitre pic is a promo shot from the new horror/slasher film "Holy Slaughter", right!?!

Here's one more entry:

Gail Bird Vestments - Although the page is filled with strikingly horrendous designs, I direct your attention to the "Balloons with Dove Chasuble" design. Not only does it symbolize freedom of spirit and the joy of Christian life but it points out the little known fact that the Holy Spirit descends as a dove but ascends as a helium balloon.

jill said...

While the selection varies from being hopelessly misguided to utterly vile, dishonourable mention must go to the fetching pink number provided by swissmiss, and Tim's Yikes no 1. The latter is horrible as the priest is supposedly serving in an Orthodox church (lovely iconostasis) - how he was allowed to do so is beyond comprehension. Unless the church is actually Byzantine Catholic ... :-P

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Oh my gosh, this is the funniest contest! It's almost too easy to find these hideous abominations. My vote is for the first one Thorny posted. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I think that that rose colored lady's kimono is quite pretty, but I couldn't ever picture my priest wearing it. He'd have to "stuff". That's just wrong.

Carolina Cannonball said...

Jill... blame it all on the Catholics. LOL ;-P

Carolina Cannonball said...

Save your votes, I'm still getting submission. Just when I think I've spied the one that might be the winner along comes another more vile garment. So you never know.

I'll post all the submissions by category on next Monday the 10th.

I will create a poll where everyone can vote on the sidebar.

Tim said...

The Refractive Light Stole of The Ecumenical Spirit of Multiple Choice

The Holy Chasuble of the Christmas Star of Calvary and Calvary

The undiscovered country of Ebay!

Oh the humanity!

It's not pink, it's lightish red!

Find the hidden image!

Carolina Cannonball said...

holy moly! the undiscovered world of ebay! yikes, man.

A Simple Sinner said...

As already mentioned:

http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=55379295&size=l

With an overlay stole no less! (For the record, whenever I see overlay stoles, I secretly hope they catch on something and learn the wearer a lesson!)

Roman Sacristan said...

I'm gonna have some stiff competition. I thought mine were sure things until I saw some of the ones here.

It's sad when something like Tim's find of: "The Holy Chasuble of the Christmas Star of Calvary and Calvary" looks really, really conservative and traditional.

I'm hoping I can squeak out a win because I have some bonus points for the ones I found because they are from Catholic churches.

gemoftheocean said...

I hope I still make the deadline, I am posting west coast time at 9:32 PM on Sunday the 10th 00 so this should still count.

For the link I am about to post, my God in his mercy forgive me. I call this one Welcome to my Daymare. I get an two extra points. This "garment?" actually graces our own church sacristy...and yes, it is in a Catholic sacristy. I feel evil and "mean spirited" for posting it at all...but God forgive me I couldn't stand it if some garment of much better design "won." I'm in a b*tch of a mood...so that pushed me over the edge. To his credit, as far as I know this has never graced the back of our pastor, as far as I know. With the possible exception that one time in the past he may have said Mass for a devoted parishioner (at a previous parish) who made his .... this. It has all the consistency of a heavy tablecloth. The photo is unretouched other than cropping the things outside the background. I will not mention the name of my parish. I feel safe that it was not made by the loving hands of a relative of his, unless he has lunatic cousins or neices. The pastor is an only child, and his mother is long dead. As God is my witness virtually all of the other chasuables in the sacristy show good taste and workmanship.... no...someone must have given him this, there's no way a man of his taste would have conjured this up for himself.

Angela Messenger said...

Gem, that one looked like someone threw up mustard and kiwi fruit!