Friday, June 13, 2008

Catholic Kitsch Contest...

... NOMINATIONS ARE NOW CLOSED!

Voting has begun in 2 categories; Someone's going to hell for that and I'd buy that for a buck.

*I started out with 3 categories but it was too much damn effort. Deal.

Steve R.
#1 Lourdes Bead Bag

Steve R.
#2 Turn Jesus On Light Switch

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#3 Jesus is My Coach

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#4 Deluxe Jesus

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#5 Hippy Nun

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#6 Jesus Ashtray

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#7 Canine Nativity Set

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#8 Santa Baby

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#9 Magic 8 Ball Jesus

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#10 Jesus is Watching

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#11 Lord's Prayer Singing Alarm Clock

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#12 Purification Scented Air Freshener

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#13 Unicorns at Lourdes

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#14 Holy Toast

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#15 Soft Saints

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#16 Holy Family Bean Bag Toss

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#17 Last Supper Lunchbox

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#18 Benedict Brew

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#19 Pope on a Rope

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#20 Pope's Cologne

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#21 Bobblehead Benedict

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#22 Last Supper After Dinner Mints

Angela Messenger
#23 The Gospel in a Nutshell

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#24 Jesus Cigarette Case

Angela Messenger
#25 Don't Make Me Come Off This Cross!

Angela Messenger
#26 Je-Sus!

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#27 St. Francis Dog Bandanna

Angela MessengerAngela Messenger
#28 Glow in the Dark Holy Water Bottles

Leo @ Far Sighted Blog
#29 Pope JPII Music/Rosary Box

Roman Sacristan
#30 Innocent III Action Figure

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#31 Chinese Take Out Last Supper

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#32 Homeboy Jesus Poster

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#33 Honk Bumper Sticker

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#34 Jasmine Scented Angel Snot

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#35 Jesus Band Aides with TOY INSIDE!

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#36 Jesus Pencil Toppers

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#37 Mother Teresa Breath Spray

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#38 Nun Chucks

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#39 Follow Jesus Flip Flops

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#40 Lookin' Good for Jesus

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#41 Patron Saint of Parking

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#42 Benedict Poopin. I can't explain it. See this post.

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#43 Gumball Machine Saints

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#44 St. Sebastian Pin Cushion

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#45 Mary Saves! USB Stick

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#46 Astronaut Jesus

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#47 Sacred heart Appetizer

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#48 Pope's Posse Pillow

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#49 Framed Crown of Thorns

57 comments:

Journey of Truth said...

That lightswitch panel is soooo wrong!! In a funny way, but wrong!

AlephGamma said...

Sometimes I wish I could drive over to my parents and take pictures - the God's corner specifically. To this day I don't know what Buddha is doing there.

BTW, the lightswitch could be considered so rong.

Terry Nelson said...

Yeah. The light switch.

Thom said...

The light switch? Obscene. Truly.

karyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
karyn said...

i am sorry, but i cannot see what's wrong with the lightswtich. I nominate Jesus is my Coach though! Just downright tacky...

Donna said...

I suspect the contest can stop now, for I don't know how anything can top the light switch.

karyn said...

ARGH...i get it, i get it...I will be thinking about this at Mass tmr.. ARGH.

disgusting. The contest may stop now, i believe =p

Tim said...

Oh ye of little faith! The competition has not yet begun! The light switch is only the tip (so to speak) of the iceberg! I present for consideration the Jesus Hates It When You Smoke Ashtray.

Donna said...

Tim--

I stand corrected. Yes, the ashtray offers hope to a kitsched world.

A Simple Sinner said...

To Donna & Tim BOTH:

Pah! This competition has STILL not yet started! Until this genuine Dog Nativity Set (A steal at just $14.99 + S&H!) is included, this contest can't even be said to be half-way serious!

http://www.collectionsetc.com/Item81134.aspx

steve vickers-buckley said...

Is this considered kitsch?

http://tinyurl.com/4wl6x5

Donna said...

May I offer for your keen discernment: Santa Kneeling By Baby Jesus Outdoor Statue

http://www.discountcatholicstore.com/santa_and_baby_jesus.htm

steve vickers-buckley said...

A Magic 8 ball-esque Jesus can be found here:
http://www.kitschulike.com/product_info.php?cPath=42_61&products_id=420

steve vickers-buckley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
steve vickers-buckley said...

How about a Lord's Prayer singing alarm clock?
http://www.mcphee.com/items/M6072.html

or a miracle eyes Jesus?
http://www.mcphee.com/items/10859.html

or a Jesus air freshener?
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11343.html

Carolina Cannonball said...

Donna, can you repost the link of the santa statue. Use tinyurl.com. Thanks!

Donna said...

Here's the tiny for the santa statue:

http://tinyurl.com/dwfqn

eulogos said...

One of my favorite lines from Gerard Manley Hopkins: (from a letter to his father) "One is always finding bad taste in the accesories of Catholicism."

I think the whole quote is "I am surprised you should say I do this because of fancy and aesthetic tastes; these would be better satisfied in Anglicanism. One is always finding bad taste in the accessories of Catholicism."

Susan Peterson

Jeffrey Smith said...

I don't know. I think the Santa Claus is rather cute.

Mary Rose said...

I want the 8-Ball Jesus. Sure would make life easier...

Kit Brookside said...

Yikes. Lightswitch for sure. (Shudder!)

Tim said...

Who you callin' soft!

Donna said...

How about an "Optical Illusion Jesus Cigarette Case?" Just think, you can use these smokes in Tim's "Jesus Hates You When You Smoke ashtray:

http://tinyurl.com/532pq7

Roman Sacristan said...

So what angle are we taking on this? Are we voting for the most tacky one, or the coolest one, or what?

Tackiest has to be that light-switch.
Coolest has to be the Benedict brew

Tim said...

I was thinking we need some categories for the voting!

Some suggestions for categories:

- I'd buy that for a dollar.
- Somebody's going to Hell for that.
- Most heretical tchotchke.
- Most likely to induce diabetic shock.

I'm sure we can come up with a few more!

Pax&Bonum said...

For the moralists who see something evilly obscene in "light switch Jesus", I would point out he is clearly modeled as standing behind the switchplate, reaching over it with his loving arms. Well, maybe they should only sell this item for the more modern "Decora" style switches... would that help?

My vote for max tacky is "Deluxe Miracle Jesus", with its modest yet exciting claim, "FEEDS 5000 WITH 5 LOAVES & 2 FISH!"... and presumably gets 'em drunk by turning water into wine in the two bonus amphorae. What's not to like??

Donna said...

I absolutely _luv_ Tim's categories, especially the first two. Great work.

Carolina Cannonball said...

Tim, noted! I will add those categories and any more you can think of.

Fr. Daren J. Zehnle said...

What about the Gospel in a nutshell acorn: http://www.autom.com/product.jsp?path=-1304477319377327629327632&id=470207

Donna said...

I just now showed my sweet little 80-year old Mama the light switch, and she started to laugh and said, "You reckon anybody else has thought of that?" I said, "Mama, I think so." Then I said, "Suffer not the little children to come to me," and she told me I am bad. Can you believe it?

Journey of Truth said...

A site called office playground has racing nuns, Nunzilla (wind up nun with sparks flying from her mouth), and nun chucks (a "gun" that launches tiny plastic nuns).

Chris said...

finally! An election I'm actually looking forward to!!! :D
So much tackiness...so little time...

Carolina Cannonball said...

Journey... that's not kitsch, that freakin' awesome. I got the Nunzilla on my PC right now!

Once, some missionaries of charity came by and the 2 sisters were fighting over who got to play with it.

The Buffalo said...

With love:

http://stglassbflo.blogspot.com/2008/06/kitsch-y-enough.html

Journey of Truth said...

CC: I have the nunzilla, too! It's awesome! I also have the boxing nun (take her habit off and she looks like Judge Judy).

Andrew said...

I nominate this.

Ellyn said...

I'm not sure I want to tell how many of the items I own.

Has anyone yet mentioned the fifty cent vending machine santos:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/idolchatter/2008/01/gumball-machines-that-dispense.html

They're really quite high quality - considering the low price. (JP II bears a strong resemblance the real guy!) Of course my family had to buy them all for me - which means we have a few duplicates. St. Jude is on top of my monitor at work - and for good reason!

steve vickers-buckley said...

When this contest started, I found thongs with the Blessed Virgin Mary's image on them. I can not bring myself to nominate them but they would certainly belong in the 'Somebody's going to Hell for that' category

Pax&Bonum said...

I've changed my vote. Now I'm torn between "Next to the Last Supper", "Last Supper After Dinner Mints", and "Angel Snot". Thank God my vulgarian tastes lie in the relatively benign direction of mere tackiness and vulgarity, rather than outright blasphemy and/or heresy. Actually, most entries so far are fairly orthodox, albeit in varying degrees of bad taste.

I like Steve V-Bs category suggestion, "Someone's Going To Hell For That". His Mary-on-a-thong is probably tied with Andrew's Pooping Pope for winner in that one, so far...

Can a Yiddish linguist give us a good explanation of the exact distinction between "kitsch" and "dreck"?

Charles said...

Thank you PB, for the nod towards my modest entries, Chinese Last Supper, mints and Angel Snot. The bandaids were mine as well. CC left out another fav I submitted-Instant Believe in God Mouth Spray, but the Mother Theresa spray I sent is actually much more dramatic, but close to "go to hell" stuff. Especially as I'm winding thru "Come Be My Light" currently.

A Simple Sinner said...

"Can a Yiddish linguist give us a good explanation of the exact distinction between "kitsch" and "dreck"? "


"kitsch" means "tacky" or "tasteless" art or product.

"dreck" = (very bluntly) "shit"

Donna said...

These kitschy/drecky distinctions are interesting. I think of kitsch has having an innocence about it. For instance, I think the light switch, the dog nativity set, the Lourdes purse, Jesus Is My Coach, and the Santa kneeling to Baby Jesus as kitsch because they were made in all sincerity, with no awareness that they are artless schlock. However, some of the items are the result of conscious attempts to make kitsch--such as the Angel Snot, Mother Teresa item, the Jesus Action Figure, Jesus Hates It When You Smoke ashtray, Nunchucks, and Holy Toast item. Even though we are calling these items kitsch, I think they don't have the innocence of purist kitsch. Okay, maybe I'm now coming up with categories--pure kitsch and try-so-hard-to-be kitsch. What do you think?

A Simple Sinner said...

"Okay, maybe I'm now coming up with categories--pure kitsch and try-so-hard-to-be kitsch."

Personally I think that is a totally valid point... To be true kitsch, an item has to pass the "Would the crazy old lady who loves tacky Christmas sweaters and Jesus want this in her home?" test.

Mary Rose said...

I actually like the Pope rosary/music box.

Now if it played the Darth Vader theme song, it would really be cool.

Carolina Cannonball said...

"CC left out another fav I submitted-Instant Believe in God Mouth Spray"

I don't remember seeing this. If you send it again I'll make sure it gets added to the list.

I don't weekend blog, so I got about another 20+ entries to sift though & post today.

Carolina Cannonball said...

Donna & Simple Sinner.... kitsch elitest snobs. ;-P

Chris said...

Sister Mary Martha happens to have something kitschy on her blog today, I see! :D
www.asksistermarymartha.blogspot.com

liturgy said...

How do I add this image to the list of possibles for voting?

http://www.liturgy.co.nz/worship/matters_files/heart20080605.html

liturgy said...

Ummm - I'm not sure that came through:
I'll try it differently:

Sacred Heart appetizer

Tim said...

Hey, I just remembered, I think I'm a creator of Catholic kitsch! Although I like to think of it as more like Catholic hipster fashion, but you be the judge.

The Pope's Posse

Alli said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I own this t-shirt... but to be fair, I got it when I was still Protestant. Barely.

http://www.thunderstruck.org/graphics/marry-sshirt.jpg

Roses and Jessamine said...

I'm speechless as I'm still laughing about this:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-249595224229806538&q=Catholic&ei=nddPSJqUI4aIjQLB8Om5DA&hl=en

Roman Sacristan said...

One question I have is: should things that are not more explicitly Catholic really be nominated?

Papal things, or nun chucks, etc seem more Catholic kitchy, but things like the "Follow Jesus flip-flops" are probably found on more Protestants than Catholics.

Just my 2 cents.

Maybe separate categories? Catholic vs. generically Christian?

Carolina Cannonball said...

I thought about that, Roman, but I can't hold it against Jesus and His kitsch bc prots happen to be tacky too. ;-P

Roman Sacristan said...

LOL! Point taken.

Roses and Jessamine said...

Here's my entry:
http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/yhst-23281163900589_1992_111925708