Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ugliest Church Art Contest...

... inquiring minds wanted to know.

Beginning today, right now, this very second I am taking your submissions for the Ugliest Church Art Contest. Bring me your felt banners, abstract art statues and Stations, your tie-dyed altar linens, and Klingon sanctuary lights...



Now for the boring stuff; rules and guidelines.

1) "Art" must be from a CATHOLIC Church
2) No photo-shopped pictures [Shhhh... you can almost hear Vincenzo's heart breaking]
3) Please provide a link or source for each submission
4) You may submit multiple entries
5) Submissions can be made here in this post or via email.
6) Deadline for submissions will be July 15th.


Alright... have at it!

33 comments:

Adoro said...

I don't know how to specifically submit pictures, so here's the entire link and the commentary describing the atrocities..uh..I mean..."art" :

http://www.sjtw.net/Worship/artandenvironment.html

The stuff near the top is OK. Scroll down, check out the Ambo, the matching Altar, the rood (especially check out how they think Christ does NOT need to be present liturgically), and the presider's chair by Ikea.

I've been in this parish. The pictures don't do it justice. If I get a chance, I'll get some pics of how it really looks from the entrance point. I think they are going out of their way to NOT show that reality.

The ambry is beautiful, but then again, it used to be part of the high altar. The original baptismal font and tabernacle are just fine...now they're combined. Apparently they miss the importance of linking baptism and confirmation...just read the link.

*sickened*

And you haven't even seen the ceiling.... UGH! It looks like 2 crab spiders crouched over a white box designed by Ikea and decorated by Pier One. And those spiders are HUNGRY.

Jeff Geerling said...

If you jump into the early 2009 archives from LOLSaints, you might find a few good ones. More, as always, shall come!

Terry Nelson said...

In the photo shown the plant stand is uglier than anything else.

Jane said...

Three bits of "art" submitted by email! They're pretty good, er, bad.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

*Sigh*

In 2005, I believe, the OC Weekly, an alternative weekly newspaper that is found free at local coffee shops, started it's own "Best of the OC" as a counter to the same contest in the Orange County Register, the county's "legitimate" newspaper.

St. Joseph Church, my beloved parish in Santa Ana, CA, received the dubious distinction of winning the "Best Boner Jesus" award for the abomination that sits on our back wall. It was painted in the 80's, I believe, by a Fr. Stephen Frost, to emphasize the "humanity" of Christ.

Here is a link to an article featuring a close-up of the artwork in question: http://www.bishop-accountability.org/news3/arellano/2004_12_23_Arellano_BoyBuggering.htm

Here is another picture of said mural, with a popular priest from Utah giving me his opinion of it: http://www.flickr.com/photos/71803906@N00/3615090151/in/set-72157617111338853/

BY the way, the mirrors at the bottom - I always thought they were there to help see traffic coming out of the alley behind the church. Oh no, they were intentional . . . theya re there so you can see yourself as sharing in Christ's humanity.

Quelle horreur!

Angela M. said...

Can I just take photos of my church and email them? I don't really want to identify my church - I like my internet anonymity.

PS - I WILL win for ugliest/stupidest Stations and wait until you see the canopy over the altar...!!!

Are you doing categories? Such as ugliest stations, ugliest banners, etc?

Carolina Cannonball said...

Angela, that is fine. I just wanted to be able to verify there were from an actual Catholic Church. I had no plans of identifying the location if the submitter requests it.

... and man, oh man... I want Fr. Erik;s shirt.

hxrtotally said...

Oh dear, I just happened to visit this "modernist" Catholic church (but I don't know if I should call it a church - their bulletin called it a "Catholic community," and never mentioned being a church) for Mass.

They have a "crucifix," but with Chris and the cross separated, which looks fine from one particular angle, but from everywhere else, you get a Jesus ballerina effect.

See from this angle;
http://www.opuscorp.com/Project%20Images/SaintAmbroseWDBRY_O_07.jpg

And here's their home page, so you can see it more head-on;
http://www.saintambroseofwoodbury.org/index.htm

I also wish I had had my camera and known about this, so I could have some pretty absurd Stations.

Paul in the GNW said...

I submit this one here at this parish St. Mary's Spokane The "art" in question is the Abstract resurrected Jesus behind the altar. I'll try to find or acquire a better (worse) pic.

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_HTD79K9DzxM/ShPPFvbBgOI/AAAAAAAAEhQ/iqNyI7E9aos/s400/IMG_5741.JPG

Not only ugly church art, but the location makes it worse.It is on the outside wall of St. Joseph's parish in the beautiful medieval hill town of Cortona, in Tuscany, the home of some of the loveliest gothic churches I've ever seen.

Italy has The Disease really badly.

Mike said...

http://www.stanselm.com/images/taize.jpg

The "flame-y" thing behind the "altar" is the tabernacle. I'll try to get a better picture before the deadline.

Mike said...

Of course, I don't think we can beat this one http://wdtprs.com/blog/2009/05/ugly-as-sin/

Kasia said...

I've got some ideas...now, to get permission to take the pictures...

cathcandy said...

Beef-cuts crucifix!!!

http://web.archive.org/web/20050210015612/http://staugustine-uf.org/holyday/DSCN5143.JPG

Fr. Erik Richtsteig said...

Digi is going to win. It is much more 'impressive' in person.

Tim A. Troutman said...

Dangit Kat - you used mine!

Mitch said...

Crucifix in Santa Maria di Popolo

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/09/99/e9/modern-crucifix-in-s.jpg

You cant see the base but with the base it appears the Jesus is jumping in the air in a funny pose with light rays coming from the ground.

In reality the symbolism is cool because it shows the suffering of Christ in a way it is not tied to the physicality of the Cross. It shows his sacrafice is eternal not just an event in the past. But it took me sketching it before that aspect dawned on me. The initial reaction to it is one of confusion/annoyance because it just looks rediculous.

Oh and Gary now St. Mary's atleast has the tabernacle in the Sanctuary. But FireJesus still looks... weird.

Owen said...
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Owen said...
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THE HERESY HUNTER said...

Unrelated to this post, but you just won the "Major Scrap" award.


LINK:
http://heresy-hunter.blogspot.com

Carolina Cannonball said...

Wow, another blog award. I'm starting to feel like Fr. Z. Where will I display them all?

Owen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josephus Flavius said...

http://www.gscc.net/TourofChurch.html

Lola said...

I'm still trying to find something worthy of this contest. But, the few things I'm thinking of almost make me cry.


In the meantime would you please come pick up your award at my blog?

http://lolawantsunsoclicited.blogspot.com/2009/06/opey124-and-alexandra-have-honored-me.html

USMC 9971 said...

At St. Joan of Arc in Minneapolis, the beginning of Lent is theater... with a mime.

Jeff Geerling said...

Here's a *beautiful* tabernacle (sarcasm intended quite heavily):

http://www.lolsaints.com/saints/2009/fishin-4-lord

cathcandy said...

Ok this one isnt from a church per se, its from the retreat house of an abbey. The mural is about Christ within every man.

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_r7OSNE7M1lg/Sc_xnhQa42I/AAAAAAAAADA/qMCJks2RIcQ/EDGE+Retreat+003.JPG

Thomas L. said...

I have three entries; all from churches in my diocese.

The first is the "Hug me Jesus" at St. Joseph. (A.K.A. - "Wiley E. Coyote Jesus," since it reminded a friend of mine about the old Looney Toons where Wiley E. Coyote would get smashed into the side of a cliff)

http://www.dioceseofbmt.org/etc/archive/2008/may/05-23-08/images/14-1.jpg

The next two entries are from St. Jude Thaddeus. The first is the tabernacle.

http://www.mywebbulletin.com/stjude/~files/tablernacle.jpg

The second is of the statue of Jesus over the altar. I'll post two pictures; one with the whole statue, and one with just the face.

http://www.mywebbulletin.com/stjude/~files/IMG_1157.JPG

http://www.mywebbulletin.com/stjude/~files/The_risen_Christ..jpg

I love my diocese, but about 3/4ths of the churches need an extensive remodeling; or some just a bulldozer.

Anyway, those are my three submissions.

Anita Moore said...

I enter all of these:

http://www.fsecommunity.org/chapels/pocatellochapel.html

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Hey, Thomas L...when I clicked on this one: http://www.mywebbulletin.com/stjude/~files/The_risen_Christ..jpg

The first thing I thought was this...It should be titled: "And then I rose from the dead and stuff, and I was, like, 'Whuuuut?', and they were, like, 'Whuuuuut'?"

Jeff Geerling said...

Aaand here's another one from LOLSaints:

"Touch the waterz... I dare ya!"

jpbehnke said...

Church architecture is art, right? If so, here's my submission:

http://www.arcspace.com/architects/piano/padre_pio/padre_pio.html

You can pick any picture from those - they're all pretty bad.

KimP said...

I vote for Laura the Crazy Mama's entry.

"Whoa, dude!"