... the worst part of dating is not the horrible dates filled with awkward conversation, the embarrassing social faux pas, or clumsy introductions.
For me it's the fear of actually liking the person sitting across from me and then having to decide if they are worthy enough to risk opening yourself up to... and then trying to read the signs for an indication things might be reciprocated.
It's that "crap" feeling... "crap; here we go again."
Am I up to the task of being emotionally vulnerable? Probably not.
An old man once told me that life never gets better and there will always be hurts but the hurts are good because they remind us that we continue to feel.
So why do I do it? My female friends don't get it... are maybe they try to repress it within themselves. To say you need a man and desire love in this day and age is unfathomable. Strong modern women don't need men, smart woman, self reliant, independent... all the cliche buzz words that below the surface really mean one thing. DENIAL.
God made us for each other. The strong and the nurturing. A perfect union to reflect a biological harmony. Why misogynistic feminists constantly try to deny themselves I'll never know.
To imply I am weak or lesser, even stupid, for having these desires saddens me. Not because their opinions hurt me, but because I know a life in denial is a lonely one.
So, strap on the body armor. Here I go again... marching blindfolded into an emotional minefield.