Thursday, August 06, 2009

yeah, not so much...

... my research is complete. I have no further use of online dating sites as a resource. I am much more charming in person, in ways that a profile or email couldn't fully convey. That and ... oh my.

Without going too much into depth, I'll just say that I have a very CLEAR definition of the word "divorced" and what it does NOT mean ... it does not mean "separated with the proceedings still in progrss", "not happily married", "haven't gotten around to moving out, but I plan to." ... you get the idea.

I am going to retreat back into entertaining nun fantasies until I fully recover from the trauma.


TheSeeker said...

...yeah...mine's not turning out so hot either. CatholicMatch forums are full of psychos who yell at each other like 3 year olds. And the guy I've been talking to for a while--seems his picture is older than my Chuck Taylors, LOL. Yikes. I hate dealing with people. I want to crawl under a rock for the next 10 years :-P

HSMom said...

The short of it is my hubby and I met online in '96. The longer and far more interesting story is that I prayed to St. Elizabeth of Hungary for 'him'... and we both confidently believe her intercession brought us together. Married in our mid/late 30s, ten years and two kids... happy as ever, thanks be to God.

Pray to St. Elizabeth of Hungary. She knew what a beautiful and loving marriage was!

God bless!

Anonymous said...

They ARE out there....just like anything else takes time and patience..there are folks out there just to goof around and others that are indeed serious. Don't take the goof-offs seriously..I met a wonderful man online...met for coffee and he even had his annulment paperwork in hand..distance ended up being a factor..he wasn't going to quit his job and neither would I...

RJW said...

You are pretty charming online, though.

B. Hold said...

Yes, you are charming online, in your own offensive sort of way. Thanks for the info, though. I was actually about to look into some Christian dating sites, but I think I'll save my money and justify my bitter loneliness with St. Paul's statement about "the better way" being the single life. Or something.

Keystone said...


This situation happened to me just this morning.
Our community has an aggreator system that ties in all blogs that originate in the community anywhere on any topic.

I like photography. A woman in town began a photography blog as a newbie, explaining posts of her new found knowledge and daily improving pictures.

Finally, I commented on her perspective, shadowings, model used, and place of setting. I added one area of improvement and why.

The following day, she named me personally, and said I am free to comment on her blog any time, as she found my insights helpful to her learning.

I commented as requested.

Soon, she photographed her wedding ring disappearing in focus technique. There was trouble on the home front.

The husband had taken up her hobby with her, spent time with a teen and a younger lad (their children) as family, and took great photoes.

One day she posted that he was under orders to get his (expletive deleted, by me) out of the house as he hasn't held a job in a year and she is carrying the family.

What looked like a happy couple was a case in estrangement by her. He was in a depression. Not unreasonable in today's economy when you lose a job.

Skip that "for better or for worse stuff".

Silence ensued a month except to note her son was with dad all summer and she missed him, a pose praising the daughter, as the true love of her life.
(Son will never understand that; dad will get the hint).

Today, with a son at dads and a teen girl on her own, she posted pictures she took of her, and her new boyfriend camping alone in nature. The shots were well below her quality. But she made certain to take many full and face shots of her new love, about 25 years her junior, and he should be dating the daughter. It was appalling for the entire community knows she recently took photos with her husband (Hey, he is depressed, but trying), her kicking him out atrociously worded, shows pictures now that they spent a tent in, for the last week, and did a close up of the two saying "Ain't love grand".

She is MARRIED to the father of her children now!
The kids will see these pictures of their "new dad".
It is an affair.

I pray the husband lands on his feet, gets the kids in custody, a new wife, and lives a grand life for her to see what she gave up.

The camper has a face that simply says 'I was satisfied all night", and he is so young it is an obvious slap to the husband.

I have no clue how to comment there anymore, and I have been a regular commentor at the site.

She is married. Period!

The gals are doing this game as bad or worse than the guys.

It was a disappointment to think you know someone and find you know them not at all.
I believe this is most likely online, as opposed to in person.

Good luck with your own search.

Angela M. said...

I met my husband in a bar. We've been happily married for 14 years and survived 4 teens (2 of his and 2 of mine.) Maybe the drinking helped??

Angela M. said...

Was it scandalous for me to comment like that??

Keystone said...

No was NOT scandalous!

It is what we call truth.

I worried about my niece working as bartender at a rather rowdy place for years.

She is not only very attractive, but gifted in all the departments gals want to be gifted in.
I was sure she was setting her up for a life of pain, trying to repair a fellow who drowned his sorrows in alcohol.

But she met a great guy. They talked at length, met the parents (his are in Switzerland), have a wonderful marriage and 2 great little girls. He adores his bride to this day.

It defies the preconceived odds, but if there is any exception to a "truism", than the truism is false.

Congratulations on finding love.
Sometimes you have to hang out where the fish are to catch a fish. The trick is to determine if he is a keeper, or throw him back in the water.

Personally, I cannot take the smoking. Same for bowling leagues. I love to bowl and would like a couples league of mixed singles. But the smoking is a deal breaker for me.

People generally find what they are looking for.

An old man was asked about folks in the next town as the traveller was considering moving there.

"What were folks like where you came from?", the old man asked.

"Oh they were gossips, and would stab you in the back in a heartbeat", the traveller noted.

"That's what we have here too", the old man noted.

Soon, another couple stopped for gas and the old man rocked outside.
They noted they were moving and considered the town ahead.

"What are the people like there?", the couple inquired.

"What were the people like where you left?". the old man retorted.

"Oh it broke our heart to leave them they were so nice. Our neighbors often got together for potlock meals and the kids played well. Churches were everywhere and fun could be found in the simplest places"...the mom said.

The old man replied that this was just the type of folks his town here had, and he was sure they would be happy here.

You met a great guy at a bar.
Conventional? Not always.
Chancy? Sometimes.
Worthy of condemnation? Never.

Congratulations and blessings for a lifetime of love together.

truthfinder said...

I prayed for God to send me a man who loved Him. I didn't date around, and my prospects were slim. My best friend knew I was lonely, and set me up with a guy friend of hers (a blind date). He and I will celebrate our 43rd anniversary on August 25th. He is a kind, compassionate and Godly man. Sometimes our friends know us best!

Steven P. Cornett said...


I think I echo your sentiment, having spent money on that Catholic Match website. All I can say is that I really why I never was big on dating, and just made me more so.

Steven P. Cornett

Donna said...

Isn't Ave Maria Singles supposed to be a cut above Catholic Match or Catholic Singles--or whatever it is? It looks like they don't have as many men to choose from, but it appears they do a better job of screening.

Anonymous said...

for your nun fantasies:


Annemarie said...

I met my husband on Ave Maria singles. Why not give them a try?

Lee Strong said...

I met my wife at an abortion protest. I was a divorced reporter (with three kids) for the Catholic paper covering it, she was part of the protest (a mutual friend tried to get me to interview her). Then I began noticing my wife at Church, sitting at the back as I always did.

Soon, we were sitting together, and, well, our 17th anniversary is on August 22nd!

So, hang out in Catholic places. Go to Mass. Look around (in between prayers!). You never know.

laurazim said...

*ahem* Met my True Love through his cousin, my classmate. We were both Catholic, though not convictedly so. This month we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. I'm hoping our 5 kids will bake us a cake. :)

God will provide. Lilies and sparrows and Psalm 139. Make it your mantra.