Sunday, November 29, 2009

a thanksgiving recap...

... 2:00 pm Wednesday afternoon arrived at the familia's, chaos ensues.

2:05 pm begin drinking.
5:00 pm more guests arrive, more drinking
6:00 pm festivities in full swing, beer run
7:00 pm take out chinese dinner
8:00 pm card games, drinking games
10:00 pm completely inebriated, let's go grocery shopping!
10:45 pm almost thrown out of Food Lion, MVP card surrender to store manager. BANNED!
11:00 pm return home with enough banana pudding ingredients to feed an army
12:15 am sleeping it off

8:30 am Thanksgiving morning, up and dressed. My hair even hurts.
9:00 am start cooking
10:30 am decide I've been awake long enough, start drinking
12:00 pm the rest of the familia waits till noon to start drinking, pretending to be proper. I have no such qualms.
1:00 pm salsa and reggaeton music comes on, drunk kitchen dancing ensues.
1:30 pm phone calls to out of town family and friends, slurring on the phone.
2:30 pm lost my shoes
3:00 pm placing bets to see which idiot standing by the deep fryer propane tank smoking cigars blows up first.
4:15 pm everyone still alive, wives suspiciously disappointed.
4:30 pm first family fight over place settings, nothing is thrown
4:45 pm second fight about too many cooks in the kitchen, wooden spoon thrown
5:00 pm third fight about eating all the food before dinner is served, men banished from kitchen, children sent outside.
5:45 pm boys set fire to front porch and say it was a boy scout project
5:46 pm ring leader spanked mercilessly
6:00 pm DINNER!
6:01 pm giving thanks to God for our marvelous one of a kind family.


DammitWomann said...

I have never laughed so hard.... this is priceless Cat. Thanks for sharing your almost perfect Holiday. said...

You didn't tell me about the Food Lion incident!

Anonymous said...

What my wife and I did on Thanksgiving:
8am: Prayed Lauds and Prime
9am she had a soy protein shake with fruit. I had a whey shake with fruit.
10am: we prayed Terce
11am, worked out.
12 noon: prayed Sext, put turkey breast in oven.
12:30pm: watched Jesus of Nazareth.
3pm: ate the yummy turkey breast with stuffing from Cracker Barrel.
Drank half a pint of Samuel Smiths Nut Brown Ale,
wife had the other half.
4pm: prayed None.
4:30 pm: went for walk outside.
5:30 pm, watched reruns of "Newhart", that Tom Poston is one funny man.
8pm prayed the Holy Rosary, talked with my wife for half an hour about Almighty God and His Blessed Mother.
9pm prayed Vespers and Compline.
10:30 pm went to sleep.
Wonderful Thanksgiving.

The Crescat said...

I just realized reading this over, that my family has a SERIOUS problem with flammable objects and an almost compulsive obsession with fire.

The Ranter said...

I want to come to your house for Thanksgiving. Bound to be way more entertaining than either my parents or my husband's dad.