Tuesday, November 03, 2009

yes, I am still single...

... in my search I have amassed a wealth of knowledge [ooo. ahhh.] in which I am about to impart on you. [ooo. ahhh.]
1# Have a sense of humor. You will need it to get you through your worst date ev-vah.

2# Enlist the help of others; co-workers, friends and family. OK, maybe not your crazy Aunt Irma. Let people know you are single and ask them if they have any other single friends or family.

3# Does your parish have a singles group? Go. If not, start one. Check out other parishes from time to time and see what activities they offer. Get involved.

4# Volunteer. Men are action oriented so volunteering at places like Habitat for Humanity is an excellent place to meet guys... plus it is a corporal works of mercy to house the homeless. Score.

5# This one is controversial, I know, but don't limit yourself to Catholics only. Be open to whom ever God's puts in your path. If you find a person that shares a similar faith and devotion to Christ; be it Episcopalian, Methodist or Orthodox, don't immediately write them off. Although, I will caution strongly against those Pentecostals... totally bat shit crazy lot. Steer clear. Also let me interject that I emphasis a common "faith". Hindus, Mormons, Muslims, Unitarian Universalists and Scientologists do not share a common faith with Catholics and there is nothing compatible with Catholicism and their religion and god[s].

6# Utilize your interests. Resources like meetup.com is an excellent place to start. What are hobbies? Chances are there is a group for that filled with individuals who share your passions.

7# Do you part to encourage and support the institution of marriage. Offer to be a free babysitter to your married friends and relieve them so they can have a much needed date night. I can't stress this last one enough. Marriage is under attack in our culture. If married couples aren't supported and happy what incentive is there for us singles to seek an institution that is just going to make us miserable?
There it is. Things I have learned thus far as I navigate the seas of singledom. Continue to pray for me... and do you know any nice single men for me? Send em my way; I am totally cute [see profile pic], funny, smart, awesome... and modest.

A few years back you guys helped me by spreadng the word on your blogs. It worked. How about trying it again for me? If you want to continue to be amused by my dating antics then you'll have to do your share. Hook me up!

the_crescat@yahoo.com


Yes, I have no shame.

49 comments:

Old Bob said...

Deeeeeear Crescat, I am also intelligent, educated, talented, witty, kind, generous, and modest. But I'm 65, live in Minnesota (read: Siberia) and am too old to have kids. But if I know any nice guys I'll send them your way. Sincerely, Grandpa.

Angela M. said...

My son is single, attractive and 26. I guess that's too young???

Mike L said...

I second your advice. Too bad I'm not in North Carolina anymore. ;)

Robert said...

I wish I could help....but, most single men I know are hopeless.
BTW....my word verification is tworsent

The Digital Hairshirt said...

I know married guys who don't deserve the harridans they are stuck with and would have been better off waiting for a prize like you!

I will keep my eyes open - 'cause, you know, in my line of work, I meet a lot of soon-to-be-single guys. Give 'em a year or so to recoup or see if they are still eedjuts, which they are if they rush out and remarry again quickly.

Jeanne said...

I know a couple of guys that are single, unfortunately, while both are baptised Catholic, neither is very practicing. Having already done the non-practicing husband (still doing it) it is not something I recommend. However, I actually inadvertently ended up with the anti-catholic husband, (turns out he wasn't just non-practicing there IS a difference apparently)so I may be slightly biased.

joan said...

We are never alone.
http://www.youtube.com/user/vatican#p/a
God Bless you.Thy will be done.

DammitWomann said...

Crescat - I lOVE that post! I am also single and looking. I had never heard of "meetup.com" Thanks for the info.

PS - I found you thru the Digital Hairshirt and home to visit more often.

shussong said...

Hey--I'll consider any of Crescat's rejects :) Especially if they're a bit older.. :)

I'm 45, blonde, professional engineer, Secular Carmelite, no previous marriages, no kids, absolutely free to marry in the Church, would be a good wife for any Deacon wanna-be's...I'm no movie star but neither are you if you're reading this blog so we're even :) And please be employed--if you haven't figured out how to make a decent income on your art or music don't count on me to bankroll you. Oh yes--our prenup will state that none of my income will go to support your ex- wife(s) or kids..whew..I actually said all that in one breath :)

Sara

Anita Moore said...

It's okay to be single. I didn't used to think so, but now I understand how miserable I would have been if I had gotten married before now. I would have made a complete pig's breakfast out of a marriage. I had unrealistic hopes that were doomed to disappointment.

Would I still like to get married? Yes. But if God wants me to stay single...I'm okay with that.

(Not that He NEEDS my permission; but giving it makes it a lot easier for ME.)

The Crescat said...

Hey Sara... where are geographically. I know some single men in their 40's. I know one I would even date myself but he lives too far away. Perhaps I can introduce you.

email me. Let's chat.

shussong said...

Don't discount the Mormons--while I was in my "exploring Catholicism" stage I dated a very nice Mormon gentleman off and on for about 5 years...he owned his own business,treated a lady like a lady, modest, discrete, no pressures for sex, and a wonderful father to his three girls. Due to issues with his divorce he could not get remarried in the LDS Church. He had no problems with me attending whatever church I wanted and no pressure to convert to the Mormon Church. And we're still good friends to this day. Why didn't we get married?? He was ready to settle down and I wasn't..so I let a gem get away...

Sara

Christopher Humphries said...

I'm a single devout Catholic man, yet am discerning the priesthood. I don't know of any men I'd recommend to anyone.

It is difficult to find truly devout Catholic men and women that are single (and not crazy). I wish you luck and will be praying for you.

Your picture is cute.

I would want to only aim for Catholic women though, it is part of a sacramental world view under Christ with Catholicism. Accepting anything less would an act of desperation, in my opinion. As a Catholic man, this is something I will not compromise on. If she can't have a Mass with me of the same mindset and faith, both in the sacramental world view then there isn't a full partnership there. I wouldn't want that.

True, while being a shut-in can make it difficult to find a mate, I also believe there is not much control in that area. It will either happen or it will not. Seeking and taking an active part may help, but ultimately it happens by accident.

Kasia said...

I know a single, practicing Catholic guy, thirty-two, who lives in North Carolina. I don't know if he's dating anyone right now, but I'd be happy to effect an e-introduction. Old high school boyfriend - was a good egg then, though definitely liked to tease and stir the pot. I believe he's some kind of engineer. E-mail me if you want to know more. :-)

Kasia said...

Oh - and while I respect what Christopher Humphries thinks about dating a non-Catholic, I would just like to point out that if my husband had been that discriminating, we would never have gotten together and I would never have converted to Catholicism. Now, I don't advise "missionary dating" (dating with an eye to converting the person), but if someone seems near-perfect in every other way, I would advise against ruling that person out solely on the grounds of disparity of cult. I know several very happy marriages that would never have happened if that were a universally non-negotiable criterion.

truthfinder said...

Hey, I was at one time a Pentecostal! Don't write them off; they believe in miracles, and if they seek to know more and become believers in the Miracle of the Eucharist, everything else will follow and you will have a really strong Catholic convert. But... marrying without a conversion? I'd say that's a recipe for misery. And I've observed some marriages like that. The Catholic mate is usually very lonely, because they can't share what is in the deepest part of the soul and spirit, and even though the rest of the marriage is great, there's always that deep, deep sadness. That is TRULY feeling alone.

SherryTex said...

My brother is 35, a catholic single man who teaches drama and English literature, plays in a band (guitar/lyrics/sings) and runs marathons. He also has a dog, Chester --short for Chesterton, and lives in Houston. He'd kill me for posting this but I'm his big sister. I love him and think he has a great deep faith and keen mind and an awesome sense of humor.

As his older sister, I too have no shame. Great list. I'd add pray and be unafraid to ask for your heart's desire.

shussong said...

Heya Crescat--

I'm in the mission state of Utah..where single eligible men even remotely resembling a bit of Catholicism are as rare as hen's teeth..so I agree with the above posters about keeping my options open..

And Crescat--what about all the cute doctors you work with?? Hospitals should be absolutely TEEMING with prospects..

Sara

KimP said...

Amen! I am of the view that you shouldn't rule out someone just because they aren't Catholic, as long as he has a sincere desire to do God's will every day. By the way, I am 45, never married, Catholic and live in VA. So if you have anyone too old for you, send them my way!

nazareth priest said...

Digital Hairshirt: You crack me up!!
Harridans...haven't heard THAT word used lately:<)!

Kat: Have you considered praying to Saint Anne for a husband. I recall hearing the phrase: "Dear Saint Anne, send me a man", or something to that effect; can't recall where I heard this. But I thought I'd throw it in the mix.

Fiorella said...

Hope you don't mind, you've been tagged. http://monstrousregimentofwomen.blogspot.com/

Sanctus Belle said...

Ok, I met my husband on AveMariaSingles.com

All orthodox Catholics looking to get married not just date. Its cheat and despite that there's a discounted rate for single moms and you can limit your search to those who have kids or not, married before or not - great service that I highly recommened!

The Crescat said...

KimP... I will keep you in mind.

The Crescat said...

Sanctus, I am on catholicmatch.com right now. Avemaria is my next stop if CM doesn't yield results.

Dan Hunter said...

Kat,

I read your latest post on you being open to new life in the Sacrament of Marriage.
So wonderful!

I shall pray that Almighty God opens the way for you to find a good and holy Catholic man.
But please be seriously and gently advised that you will not be yoked equally if you decide to marry a protestant.
As I am sure you know the Church seriously does not advise it, for the simple reason that there is a world of difference in belief.
It would be way to hard on you.
Please just read the following from the "Catholic Encyclopedia" its not long and it gives a good synopsis on the Churches teaching on mixed marriages.
I am not trying to be a hard ass here.
I just care for and love you as a member of the mystical body.
I shall keep my eyes open for a studly and solid Catholic man to meet such a wonderful and pretty person as yourself.
God bless.

Dan Hunter said...

From the Catholic Encyclopedia on mixed marriages:
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09698a.htm

Mary333 said...

My husband has a Baptist/Pentecostal background. Guess what faith he is now? You got it...He converted to Catholicism about 6 years after we were married with no arm twisting involved :) So if you hook a Pentecostal on your line you may not have to toss him back in the sea[lol]. Happy hunting! Oops...I meant fishing.

hallowedground said...

My Kat!,I have not been checking blogs for awhile so did not notice the profile pic but man....Cute indeed!

Karen said...

I've got a cute single, successful (Lutheran) brother in NJ who's in his late 30's. I'm always shopping for a sister in law. Of course, you'd have to move up north. My parents wouldn't have anyone to dine with on Sunday nights if my brother moved away.

Augustine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Augustine said...

Dear Crescat,

I'd love to have you as daughter-in-law, but I'm afraid that my son is too young for you. I just pray that he marries a Catholic girl like you.

Just trust in God and do not compromise.

May God bless you with a husband.

Peter said...

Don't be to quick to throw out the non-Christians, if you are serious about taking what God offers. I was once an atheist til I converted back to Catholicism, bringing my wife and children into the fold as well. Long Story.....

Kimberly said...

Crescat - Maybe God is keeping you for himself. I hear hear he's a wonderful spouse.

romishgraffiti said...

Came here at Fr. Erik's direction.

Is Northern VA too far? I know a guy upper '30's, Catholic. He is godfather to my daughter. He's on Ave Maria Singles.

Scott

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Kat: In your list of virtues you forgot to mention: batshitcrazy and hifreakinlarious. What gives?

Also, you should be sure to mention your deep love of the outdoors.

/me laughing as I run away and hide

Good luck with it! If I see any eligible and desirable single Catholic men, I'm keeping them for myself so too dang bad!

Love and kisses from Minnesota (Hi Old Bob!)!

Lee Gilbert said...

Caroline, I found this comment on "Ask Sr Mary Martha's blog for Jan 22, 2007


sister mary alternative said...
what about trying the st. anne's prayer? it's a beautiful ancient celtic prayer that i learned when i lived in northern ireland. it goes, "dear st. anne, send me a man, as quick as you can."

:)

btw, my wife married a Catholic pentecostal, which pretty much explains everything that's happened so far.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Kat, I've got you pimped at my blog. I also put you on facebook, in the hopes that my cousin sees you. Large fellow (meaning tall) and a detective in Pennsylvania. Polish/Hungarian descent. Has made all of his initial Sacraments. Never married. Decent. Early 30's.

HaroldC said...

I'm forty, single Catholic convert in South Carolina. But I'm by birth a Tarheel. I'm a licensed attorney in North Carolina and have just passed the South Carolina Bar. Active in prolife. But fairly set in my ways and am an acquired taste.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

Hey guys, don't be aggressive. Providence let me find Crescat very recently and me likely very much!! : )

Joe (defend-us-in-battle.blogspot.com) said...

Alright... BLOGPOST... CHECK!

If you marry someone who contacts you from a certain blog... does that blog owner win a prize?!?

The Crescat said...

Joe... you'll get an invite to the wedding! Not good enough? What did you have in mind?

Don said...

I met my wife through the Catholic Alumni Club. It's a group for Catholic single professionals. They have chapters all around the country (http://www.caci.org/localclubs.php) and they require that you must be free to marry in the Catholic church (divorced requires proof of annulment).

Cecilia said...

We'll pray for your future B... I think that AveMariaCatholics is about 10xs better that Cathoicsingles.. I know I live through it now almost 8 yrs on Dec. 8th we celebrate our wedding date... I wouldn't wait longer... go join it! Best of Luck!

nazareth priest said...

Lee Gilbert: We share the same last name and also shared the common prayer to St. Anne for a partner!
Also remember your daughter is a Carmelite Nun...I am a monastic priest.
Great minds...

DammitWomann said...

This post still has me LOL. And "Yes", Digi has pimped Crescat on her blog. However, don't hold your breath. She keeps saying she's finding me a nice Catholic man and has yet to provide........

nazareth priest said...

And Lee Gilbert: Although this is not about finding a mate (!); I am from northern Illinois and have Gilbert relatives in central Illinois.
Could you, in fact, be a relative?
Just wondering...I have so few Catholic relatives. It would be great to make contact...Fr JM.

The PsychoMachia said...

Dear Sara,
forgive me,just an FYI in all love if you dont know..I am kinda oblivious to kidding and things like that (seriously,very socially un-perceptive)..but you do know that pre-nups are not allowed by the church right? This is online and I cant assume anything,so please dont feel offended.

I will pray for all of you,and seriously..the most important thing you can do is DISCERN THE RIGHT VOCATION. Do NOT omit the possibility of single life/convent as one.
Your happiness and possibly/likely your salvation depends on it.prayers..for you and all searching.

Old Bob said...

Hi, Cathy of Alex! I have a Viking Cafe of Fergus Falls T-shirt.

Jane said...

Ah, if only you were here in Los Angeles! There are six or seven single Catholic men at our parish between the ages of 30-40, all very nice guys with decent jobs, and all of them handsome as well! Various degrees of geekiness available, depending on taste.

Come visit!