Sunday, August 01, 2010

crescat parenting 101...

... my cousin & I are diabolical when it comes to devising punishments and teaching consequence. Her kids and The Boy lament the unfairness of it all that so many adults should conspire against them. Admittedly, it one of the joys of parenting.

Over the years we've come up some wonderful doozies; I've taken the boy to school in his underwear for refusing to get up and dressed for school on time, her kids have worn light switch plate necklaces [The Necklace of Shame] to the mall for constantly forgetting to turn off the lights and most recently we've decided to make our kids buy back all their toys they can't seem to remember to put up when they are done playing.

It's a simple but effective concept; collect any stray toys, clothes, books, video games [etc.] and lock them up in your room. When they go searching for it explain that it was not put away properly and you confiscated it. They can do one of two things, 1) buy the item with extra chores or 2) buy the toy back out of their allowance money.

So far I've gotten the car washed, the garden weeded, the a/c vents and return grills vacuumed and cleaned out and reclaimed $13.00 of The Boy's allowance money.



I'm not all evil. I did use the money to buy our Mackerel Snapping Papist family cheese pizza on Friday.

11 comments:

Just another mad Catholic said...

hehehe, I like it.

The Crescat said...

too bad you won't have kids of your own* one day to torture. It's great fun!


*He won't have kids because he's going to be a priest, people.

Just another mad Catholic said...

Kat as much as I appreciate your enthusiasm I still have collage loans to pay off so Fr. Hughes will have to wait a few years baring a few divine miracles.

Ink said...

Shh! If my mum sees these ideas, she'll take them to heart... and God only knows what'll happen then...! =P

Karen said...

Love the idea of making them buy back the toys. My almost nine year old heard me telling my husband about your idea and she didn't seem to thrilled about it. We do something similar. We hold toys that were left out or not properly taken care of hostage for an undetermined length of time. I love being creative with punishments, it keeps things interesting.

Heather said...

Here's what I did once. I told the boys to pick up their room or else I was going to do it.

They didn't do it.

I went in with a trash bag and a snow shovel. The bags of toys sat on the curb for several days before the trash man came to pick them up. They'd sit at the window and cry they wanted their toys back. I said that next time they better put them away.

Their room is usually pretty well picked up.

Yes. I'm horribly mean, but you know what, kids don't need 4 rooms full of crap to strew all over the house. They play with the same thing over and over anyway, the rest is just junk the relatives bought.

Mitch said...

I like it! Plus anything to help fund Mackerel Snapping Fridays can't be bad... lol

Amy said...

I think that's awesome and a great way to teach responsibility. Consider this parenting tip added to my file.

Christopher Lake said...

People can say whatever they want about some of these parenting methods being "abusive," "over the line," etc. The bottom line is, your son is learning respect, discipline, and responsibility. He will not turn out like the brat that I saw, years ago, on the D.C. subway, talking *very* disrespectfully to his mother and attempting to *slap* her, while she just laughed at his "funny" behavior. I had to restrain myself... God help that child *and* his mother in a few years.

Nod said...

Or try this one my friend came up with: if the kid is an extrovert, send him to his room (without any form of entertainment); if the kid is an introvert, ground him to your presence - that is, he can't leave the room you're in except for the bathroom or bed.

Teena Blackburn said...

I'm sorry, but humiliating people is abuse, even if they are children. Children need discipline, and they need to know consequences, but humiliation is wrong. For someone to say, "But it works," is a consequentialist argument for something that you cannot excuse. What your son and your cousin's children are learning is that people who have power over them can humiliate them when they don't behave as you would want them to. The fact that you seem to take such delight in coming up with this stuff is perhaps more troubling than the acts themselves. I am sure you love your son, but honestly, I have known people whose parents used humiliation as a tactic. It works in the short term to get what you want, but in the long term you get angry resentful adults. I expect people to respond with the usual, "Oh, you're just one of those permissive parents that will raise a serial killer." Whatever. Ask yourself if you think it's OK to be humiliated when you do something wrong. We get away with it because we're big and have power-and they are small and do not.