Wednesday, August 18, 2010

day nine...

... I wonder if I'm doing this all wrong. Ultimately, shouldn't my prayer be for total acceptance of His will for me instead of asking God to remove a desire from my heart? Longing and desiring something we can't have isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could be my chance, handed to me by Him, to grow in faith and patience ... and all those other virtues I lack. Instead of whining, "Oh Lord, remove from me this painful unmet longing" wouldn't it be better to just ask for peace in my heart and trust in His plans?

I mean a lot of people don't get what they want when they want it. I should just accept that at my age the chances of being kidnapped by ninjas is greater than me finding a spouse. Of course, it isn't going to stop me from praying. But maybe I need to carefully re-word my requests.

Art: Sacred Heart by José de Páez


Owen said...

Prayer for surrender to his will is always good. At the same time I don't see how we can hide from him the desire of our heart so I tend to be a Catholic and go for both/and not either/or

Again, for very different reasons but no less important a life decision I am living this tension myself.

Old Bob said...

I've wanted all my life to get married and have kids - but God has made it obvious it almost certainly isn't going to happen - not even marriage. I like very much what Owen says here. I'll pray for you, Kat.

Donna said...

If it's any consolation, I, too, live with longings that were never fulfilled. I understand completely. Yes, I think you're right; we must pray to trust in His will, no matter what--even in the midst of such desires.

Rick said...

Many saints were frustrated almost to the point of despair but they kept on praying e.g. St. John Bosco wanted an oratory or a yard where his boys can gather as they keep getting expelled from the parish churches yards. He was almost at his breaking point when Pinardi offered his shed. And that has become the Oratory in Turin, Italy.

After leaving the religious life, I complained to God saying that I gave him the best years of my life but He has left me with left overs. 17 years after, I married someone 12 years younger with 2 doctoral degrees. I have 8 kids with her (3 were miscarried) so, it has been a sweet and hot but I had to wait for 17 years.

G said...

I don't see anything with asking for something in the course of prayer as long as you are prepared for the answer to be "no" or at least "not right now". That was a difficult thing for me to accept but my prayer life is much better now because I understand that God does answer all prayers, just not always in the affirmative.

Minkykat said...

Where you are now, I too have been. Now, this was back in the day before I came back to God but it is along the same lines: surrender.

One horrible night when my loniness was so great that the tears flowed like rain and pain surged across my soul, I just gave up! I screamed out;
"That's it then! ALONE!"
I truly meant it. I accepted it; no more fighting it.
I cried myself out and went to sleep...or as best I could with a stuffed up nose from crying so hard.

The next day, a Sunday, I met my now husband.

I will join in prayer for you that God's will be met in your life and that which ever way it shakes out, you will be at peace with it.

KimP said...

Kat, don't worry about your age! I am 46 and never married. I watched all my friends get married, have children, some divorce, and some remarry. And yet, no one for me. Then, about 6 months ago, I met a wonderful man. I'll admit that (for me) sparks did not fly right away. He wasn't Catholic. He didn't have a college degree. He wasn't tall. : ) It took about a month for me to think, "Okay, this could work out." He told me last night that he was formally entering RCIA after discerning through my parish's Inquiry program. My prayers are being answered and I believe the Lord sent him to me - after FORTY-FIVE YEARS. He is so worth the wait!

Just another mad Catholic said...

As Bishop Sheen said

God Love you

Sarah said...

You may be onto something there; God's plan might not be the same as your request. But there is nothing wrong with telling Him how you feel.

Your observation about patience really made me re-consider my own attitude about my current crosses. Grad school schedules mean my beau and I are going to have to be long distance for at least 2 more years. It's killing me to have what I feel is my vocation be "on hold." So thanks for reminding me that "longing isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Tristan Pacheco said...

Hi. Ms. Cathy,
St. Therese once said:
"God, in His sweetness makes us desire something that He wants to give us."
I firmly believe that God is that loving. :)
Maybe on our part, we can act like little children who is full of confidence on their parents and always delighted for surprises.
Our desire will never be painful if the more we desire the more we surrender our hearts.
"Everything is a grace. " :)