Tuesday, August 17, 2010

on unconditional love...

... Regular readers know I'm divorced and have been so since 2004. I left my husband when The Boy was a little over a year old. We have not seen him since. For those of you who think Christian persecution is a foreign problem in third world nations, I would introduce you to my ex-husband. Only I have no idea where he is. On matters of my divorce I keep things simple when my son asks. I only tell him that he was not Catholic and wanted to keep us from the Church.

Since the time my son learned to talk he has prayed every day for that man; Lord, do not let him die in mortal sin separated from the Church.

My son, at seven, is a better person than I could ever hope to be.

18 comments:

Jackie Parkes MJ said...

Inspiring words.

Marie said...

There is hope - the prayers of a child are the most powerful!

Rick said...

I applaud your choice of faith.

It has inspired me to post a counsel to Christian women who are married to Muslims to leave those ties in clear conscience just as you did.

From 1 Corinthians 7:10-15
"To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband ... and that the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say, not the Lord, ... But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace." (Pauline Privilege)

Margaret Mary said...

That just brought a tear to my eye. What a wonderful gift!

Terry Nelson said...

You are so good - you just don't know it - it is better for some of us, lest we become complacent.

PaxetBonum said...

To forgive from the heart sworn enemies, or those who have betrayed, attacked or wounded us, and to generously pray for their conversion and salvation, is a high work of spiritual mercy and the perfection of charity- and, as the saying goes, charity begins at home.

It is not easy, and it is not optional; we were commanded to do so (cf. Matt 5:43-48).

"Be ye even perfect..." hmmm... that's gonna take awhile, guess we better get started.

P&B.

lovebeingcatholic said...

Your post hit close to home and I'm crying. Regarding my husband's reaction to my conversion I've been known to quote St. Thomas Becket (according to the movie), "He cannot forgive me for preferring God to him." We're not divorced, but my hope for us ebbs and flows. You've got a special place in my prayers.

John (Ad Orientem) said...

This was a great post. And don't be so hard on yourself. You, unlike the boy, have direct knowledge of your ex-husband's shortcomings. And yet you avoid unnecessary detraction with the boy, and even on your blog I have no recollection of you ever discussing the ex. Your example is what motivates this charity on the part of your son.

Anger is not in and of itself sinful. It is only when it is harbored and nursed or it is an unjust anger. Though again, I have no knowledge (and don't desire any) of the details, it sounds like your ex had "issues" that made divorce the lesser of evils. These things sometimes happen in life to our great sadness. But it also seems you have handled the matter as best as one could under the circumstances and with a measure of both class and charity.

Yours under the mercy,
John

PaxetBonum said...

I read a remark about divorce in a novel many years ago. It struck me so deeply that it has stayed with me ever since. It has always reminded me how deeply people suffer from a divorce, and what drives them to it-

"Sometimes, divorce is the only refuge for human dignity".

P&B.

The Blind Guide said...

I agree w/ Terry; your humility is inspiring.

Just another mad Catholic said...

Divorce is never fun for anyone (I speak as someone whose parents split up) but if he was trying to keep you and the Boy from the Church I think you made the best choice.

Owen said...

In becoming Catholic I lost friends, my job (which we have not really recovered from in the past five years), I have struggled with "identity" and purpose. We suffered other losses not related to becoming Catholic; the death of a son, the death of our parents (only my Mom is alive), the loss of a home...many things. The losses we have suffered are very different but the Faith we love is the same. Our goodness has nothing to do with much of anything does it?, though I identify with the sentiment. What it is about is fidelity to truth and unconditional love, as you have well said. You're son's daily prayer for his father is powerful and one we each ought to pray for ourselves, for our loved ones and for our enemies. May God continue to form and bless you. May the intercession of our Blessed Mother be your consolation.

Frank said...

As I wrote here, in a wacky post on Pink Floyd of all things, we absolutely have to become like little children again. Wise little children, but children none the less.

Badger Catholic said...

Wow! I agree with Terry too. Kat, you gave the Boy his Faith.

Lynne said...

You are a good person and you are loved. Divorce is awful but you did not fall into the trap of attempting to alleviate *your* suffering by poisoning your son's mind towards his father.

lgw said...

been there, done that

Mimi said...

Your son is a true blessing.

shadowlands said...

I know you and me didn't exactly get off on a good footing, but I just read your post about your son's anniversary.
My son was seriously injured in 2007,and sustained massive brain injuries. A song by Natalie Grant, called 'Held' really helped me identify some of the emotions I was going through, although it was months later. It's actually about the loss of a baby, my son was grown. I hope it may be of comfort to you, today, in a small way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo

Peace to you...