Monday, September 27, 2010

hiss.spit.growl. Monday edition...

... completely ignoring what I posted below.



[rant] Today has started out like any other typical day in my life, i.e. with me doing typically stupid things on any given day. This morning the cat pissed on my towel, only I didn’t notice because it was still damp from the last time I used it. As I was getting dressed my hair was wrapped up in the piss towel drying. It wasn’t till I got to work that I finally figured out what that smell was, and even worse, where it was coming from.

So now I am sitting at my desk reeking of cat urine and I’m on hold with the IT department because my computer realizes its Monday and doesn’t want to work either. Did you know the number for our IT department is a labyrinth of pre-recorded prompts created by a group of basement dwelling nerds designed to specifically make me go absolutely bat shit crazy… I am one minute away from having a complete Office Space episode. Press “1” if you have the blue screen of death, press “2” if need to reach Mordor in Middle Earth, press “3” if you were caught on facebook at work … and YES, I have tried restarting the computer! [/rant]

25 comments:

Owen said...

piss to will pass

G said...

"Oh, God is testing us."

"If he's gonna test us,
why doesn't he give us a written?"

Woody Allen, Love And Death

laurazim said...

Oh man. Really, I think I'd rather smell SKUNK than cat pee. Truly. I grew up in a house full of cat pee, and there's next to nothing on earth that will neutralize that particular odor, save a 24-hour soaking in 24 Mule-Team Borax.

If such a thing could be considered worthy as mortification, imagine how many souls could be released from purgatory for the suffering of nose.............

Re: IT, just think of the minions as office-dwelling orcs. Would an orc wear a tie? Or perhaps a golf shirt? ........the things to ponder while on hold...........

Terry Nelson said...

Your life is a sitcom! You are hilarious!

Jackie said...

I want to laugh but that would be rude . I'm sorry about the cat and computer and job and....well , this comment ...

Rick said...

If you offer that with humble and loving acceptance, it might knock off a year of purgatory.

Cat pee reeks. So, maybe 2 years.

Tim said...

And just as an aside, you are now the cat's property, at least until you can get a shower.

Jackie Parkes MJ said...

Too funny! Sorry...

Jane said...

Tim, she is the cat's property anyway. A cat doesn't need to wee on its human to own her--at least, from the cat's perspective.

Old Bob said...

Dogs have masters, cats have staff. The ancient Egyptians worshiped cats as gods, and the cats have never let us forget it.

The Watcher said...

Your confessional priest is going to be hard-pressed not to bust out laughing at this one.

TCN said...

I always considered it a liability when the priest in the confessional laughs. I'm not saying he ever did, mind you, just that it might not be a good thing...

Word verification: anicat

nazareth priest said...

I hate that when that happens:-(!
Cat piss is hell!!

hauntingsacristy said...

It's after 11 at night. I'm suffering from insomnia. That said, I'm probably finding this way funnier than it actually is, but when I read "Press 2 to reach Mordor in Middle Earth," I spat out my water laughing so hard and had a brief moment of fear that I wasn't going to be able to stop.

That said, there's this British comedy called "The IT Crowd." The IT guys (who lived in the basement) would always answer the phone with, "IT. Have you tried turning it off and on?"

Julie said...

My daughter's cats have access to our house, unlike our myriad barn cats. The only good thing about this situation is that it has finally, FINALLY (after 33 years of marriage) taught my husband to hang up his wet towels.
Try a cider vinegar rinse, dear.

lauraw said...

What, is there something in the air? Or did they all get a memo. My cat (for no known reason) last night left a huge wet spot - only discovered upon laying down - in the middle of the bed. Why!?

But you know, some expensive perfumes - Fleurs de Rocaille for example (original formula) - actually smell a little like cat urine. People may have only thought you were indulging yourself in a well-deserved treat, lol. You might think about thanking your cat. Original formula is now very expensive.

Rick said...

lauraw: sounds like a business opportunity

Dymphna said...

Estee Lauder White Linnen smells remarkably like cat urine. The folks at work probably thought you got new perfume.

Just another mad Catholic said...

You do know that this is the cat's revenge for you allowing your son to baptize him don't you kat? Still at least unlike a certain priest who lurks around this blog he hasn't drowned him :)

nazareth priest said...

I can't resist this story:
a dear, sweet elderly lady was one of my First Friday communicants, shut-in, as she was...shut-in with about twenty cats (anybody heard of "ANIMAL HOARDING??")...anyway...she was such a sweet,kind angel...and the cats were EVERYWHERE...I mean everywhere...and the cat urine fumes were enough to knock you on your a**...well, being a former "farm boy", this stuff didn't really phaze me; until about fifteen minutes of listening to a monologue (the poor dear was so lonely) and it was all I could do to both keep consciousness and do the Communion Rite (a former young associate who was not only fastidious but absolutely a "germ freak" just about died going in there...but he did it, God bless him!)...she's with Jesus now, she lived to be ninety-something with those cats; the cats are either dead or at somebody elses' house...never would you find a better cared for bunch of felines.
Her name is Agnes...she had a nasty husband (whom she would never, ever speak against)...say a prayer for her, will ya?

3puddytats said...

That's right..the cat got baptized...

paybacks are a bitch...

missjeanevil said...

I'm praying for Agnes. Anyone who takes care of cats... my goodness! Cats are proof about the glamour of evil: soft fur, sweet purr - and full of nasty just waiting to happen. ;)

nazareth priest said...

Thank you, missjeanevil; I think you would have loved Agnes; I really did, despite the "environmental hazards" I had to encounter to give her Jesus.
She was such a gentle, loving, wonderful soul.
May she rest in peace!

The Little Way said...

Well, you KNEW that cat was going to get even for the Baptism, one way or another.

Ginny said...

AWWWWWWWWWW Wow that must have really made your day