Thursday, February 03, 2011

I made a plan, God laughed...

... I decided not to return to school this spring. It was a difficult decision to make but one that needed to be made none the less. It's always hard when you have to postpone your dreams, but that's all this is. A postponement.

It took me two years just to complete my pre-requisites for nursing school, than another year to complete my LPN certification but that was as far as I could go. Financially, physically, logistically.

Then I got snowed in for four days and my son couldn't get enough of me and never left my side. That's when I realized he missed me. I was home only one night a week. I spent exactly 10 waking hours a week with my own child. My whole purpose for pursuing an RN degree was so I could make more money and get a weekend shift to be home for my son during the week. I was doing this for him.

Then his grades began to slip and his homework wasn't getting turned in. I wasn't there every night to help him with it or just be there to encourage him. I realized this was not benefiting him. He's eight now and at that age where he is not quite embarrassed of me yet. If I am lucky I got three or four more years of this disposition until he turns into an emotional nut bag pre-teen who thinks I am lame. So I am relishing it now. Nursing school will always be there.

Yes, I am choosing my family over career ambitions and the peace I feel over this decisions just confirms I have made the correct choice.



Oh, and no need to offer sympathetic comments or condolences. No one died. It's not as melodramatic as all that. I realize God's plan are always going to be better for me than anything I can dream up.

31 comments:

HEATHER said...

They are only little once. I don't think that you will regret the decision at all.

John (Ad Orientem) said...

Sounds like you have your priorities in order. I doubt God is laughing.

Old Bob said...

Good for you!!

Theocoid said...

God bless you, Kat. I'm also learning what it means to accept God's will. Surprisingly, it's often better than what we plan.

Tiffany said...

Awesome! I went through the respiratory therapy program when my son was 6 mo old. I regret missing that time with him. He is now 5. I keep missing time with him even though I am done with college becasue I get to work those "amazing" 12 hr shifts that turn into 16 hour days, sometimes 5 in a row, before I can even say hi to my fam. If I could change it I would but we need my income at this point. Healthcare can drain you, as an LVN you may already know this. The point is if I stopped to listen what God wanted 5 years ago, I wouldn't be an RT today. I'd be focusing n the vocation of marriage.

MamaMidwife said...

I just came to this same conclusion.

The boy will greatly enjoy your time together (I'm sure you will to).

What I have learned is:

What I want ::does not equal:: happiness.

:)

Sometimes it's hard to be a mommy. Sometimes it's easy.

Elisabeth said...

You are so right: I also have an eight-year-old, and losing my job was the best thing that ever happened to us. When you are a single parent, you are everything to your children.

Good call - I'm there with you!

Owen said...

It's a choice in favour of eternity. I think it's a beautiful choice.

Even as a non-single parent, when our kids were 'kids' we made the choice to always have one parent home. It's one of the reasons we have no money to speak of and three balanced, lovely, Christian young adults. Well, that and the big fat grace of God.

This is your second best post ever - not counting the splendiforous images you're always posting.

familytreedude said...

No condolences from me. Rather, a big, fat "Congratulations"! Your vocation beats a career hands-down, any day of the year.

Love to you and the Boy.

TCN said...

I was laid off over 1 1/2 years ago. My son loves it. He is 4 (nearly 5--how did that happen) and he is thrilled that I can take him to the library, to the Children's Museum, just outside for fun. We do lots of writing and reading and art projects and all that good stuff. We have nearly no money, but we are so much better off.

Nursing school is still there. You will find a way, God willing.

The Ironic Catholic said...

You're a good mom. God is smiling, not laughing....

Dianna said...

Kat, being a mom is a beautiful thing. I'm lucky enough to be home for my boys, and never regret the things we can't do because of the financial limitations. I loved working and had ambitions of my own, but that all wasn't as important as making sure I was raising my own kids.
Congrats to you for realizing your limitations and hearing the call. Your son will thank you (after he gets through those awful teenaged years, of course.)

Jacque said...

I believe that the time you spend with your son now will greatly deminish his pre-teen goofy-ness.
I've been reading your blog for a while now and find you to be an incredible christian and mother.

Cruise the Groove. said...

Kat
Your docility and humility in accepting Gods holy plans for you are truly praiseworthy!
You have indeed chose the better course!
God bless good mother.

Alan said...

God bless you and your son!

s-p said...

Good for you, better for your son. God bless you for having eyes to see.

3puddytats said...

Not to be the wet blanket...but just be sure stopping in mid-stream won't penalize you academically.

In many universities and programs prerequisites are only good for a year..that is supposed to nip in the bud the "professional student" that takes 20 years to get their degree...then you either have to take the class over or test out of it...

Another cool thing--even if you just take one class like a PE class you have your active student body card which gets you all kinds of discounts on sports events, plays, at exhibits, rec activities, lectures and presentations, free gym membership, bookstore discounts, etc...

What I did my for first degree years ago was work a semester, school a semester.. that was tough as so many time classes had to be taken in sequence, and if you broke the sequence you had to start over.

Good luck and God Bless..

Sara

Kelly said...

Kudos. I had the same realization--my youngest daughter is eleven, and would always have a long face when I was heading out the door to work. I realized that she is at an age when soon she may not want to be around Mom quite so much, and I 'd better grab the chance :)

Katherine said...

I can speak as a single parent who made a similar decision when my son was 7 years old. I got off the career path and took jobs that allowed me the flexibility to be with my son. Now I am an empty nester with the rest of life ahead of me, and I don't regret one bit the interrupted career. In fact, I am grateful to God that he gave me the courage to take this step.

3puddytats said...

One more icky thing--sorry to be the bearer of bad news--but if you took out student loans for school and you "take a break" for whatever reason...your student loans become payable unless you can demonstrate you are under extreme hardship...

My neighbor found that out when he decided not to attend school for a semester after his wife had a baby, so he could have time to enjoy the baby...now he's got a mucho big student loan bill to pay on top of everything else and only working part time...

Sara

Anthony S. "Tony" Layne said...

The LPN should help you and The Boy to get through and stay on top of the loan bill until you're both in the position where you can go back with a clean conscience. And if I remember correctly, as long as you stay on top of the payments, when you go back the repayment should be suspended again (get confirmation on this).

My point in saying this is that I think you're making the right decision. Even if it costs you more money in the short run, the long-run payoff for you and The Boy will be inexpressible in dollars.

Angela Messenger said...

Absolutely the right choice.

The Crescat said...

Sara, it took me ten years... TEN... to finally pay off art school so I was not taking out loans to cover nursing school expenses. I got several scholarships based on being a single mom and a minority and paid out of my own pocket up front each semester at registration.

And since I have LPN I needn't be concerned with pre-reqs. I work part, very part time as a nurse to keep my license active. One weekend a month part time.

It's amazing how everything fell into place. More proof evident I made the right choice. :-)

The Little Way said...

Electing to be with your child can never be the wrong choice. And for those who think nursing is a career, please think again. For those who entered the profession simply to collect a paycheck, it very well may be. For those who entered for more altruistic reasons, it's a vocation. Working permanent nights, 12-hour shifts in an intensive care unit, caring for incontinent ventilator-dependent adults as they lay a step from death's door is not a "career".

And what irony that I see my anti-spam word is "bling".

KDaunt said...

Ok, no condolences, but how about a big thumbs up? And thanks for sharing.

3puddytats said...

Kat--So glad to hear that you are not saddled with a bunch of student loan debt!!

To hear how young students now a days saddle themselves with hundreds of thousands of dollars is loans is mind-boggling....two interns at work keep taking out the loans and rolling them over, oblivious to the fact that when they graduate and these loans come due, they will be paying $800-$1000+ a month... that is a house payment...And because of the nature of these loans, that is the bill you MUST pay first, before anything else...defaulting on student loans is VERY BAD karma...

But Yes!! I am happy for you!! As you said..so neat that everything is falling into place!! God is so good!!

Sara

Sally Thomas said...

Yay for you. And more time with your child really is a down-payment on a good relationship in adolescence. I have never regretted dropping out of grad school and paid work when my oldest was little -- she's heading off to college in the fall, and I'm going to miss her, because aside from being my daughter whom I love more than breathing, she's also a person whose company I really, really relish. Of course you don't set out to be your child's buddy, but when they turn out to be your friend: what a gift.

I have an 8-year-old boy right now, too. They really need their mamas, those 8-year-old boys. Good for you for seeing and responding to that.

Terry Nelson said...

I'm so happy for you and the boy. God bless you. You are in my prayers.

Melanie said...

I'm happy for both of you!

ignorant redneck said...

Sometimes, i think you are the most lovable blogger on the planet!

Way to go Mom! The world would be better with more like you!

Smiley said...

YOu are a good mom and a great person and trust me God is not laughing at you but as a Dad He is really proud of the decision you made.