Monday, July 04, 2011

please stop talking...

... adoration frustrates me. So does the rosary. It's all that stillness and focusing.

Quick supplications said through out the day suit me better, like the text or twitter version of prayer. Not that I am so busy I can't carve out time for adoration or the rosary, on the contrary. I just can't make my mind focus for any length of time.

It would seem I just can't inwardly shut up. Once during adoration I was asking God for some advice and when He didn't reply back I asked again. And again. And then went on an mental rant about never being able to hear Him and burning bushes and talking clouds blah blah blah. Suddenly two very clear memories came into mind. It was like watching a flash back. I guess God had to resort to mental imagery because I wasn't letting him get a word in edge wise.

The first image was of this lady I know through work. My business requires I have weekly dealings with her. I dread these dealings. She talks. And talks. And talks. And then asks rhetorical questions cutting you off before you can answer. To conclude my dealings with her I have to literally interrupt her.

The next image was of my son at the tender age five. He wanted a toy or his way or some other whiny thing. I said 'No'. He said 'Why?'. I said 'because I say so'. He said 'Why?'. I said 'because I am the grown up and make the rules!'. He replied 'Why?'. Then he asked the same question five minutes later. And again. And again.

How annoying right? It would take some one with infinite patience to put up with that on a daily basis. You just can't effectively communicate under those circumstances... Oh, wait.

Touche, God. Touche.


not a minx, a moron, or a parasite said...

Did you write this just for me??? Oh Lord, I hear ya.

Christina said...

no, I think she wrote it for me...

Old Bob said...

And me too. Thanks, Kat!

Adoro said...

Honey, none of us can inwardly shut up. It seems to me that you're actually more in tune with Him in your claimed "ineptitude" than the rest of us are in our claimed pseudo-"contemplation" (which is actually exactly what you're describing in this post).

my personal challenge is staying awake during focusing; I don't. I fall asleep, something I learned as an undergrad and perfected as a grad. No idea how I earned my degrees; I don't remember reading ANY of it although I sacrificed my entire social life to obtain it.

Guess all I got was epic dreams to be made into movies one day if I ever write them down. You? You got a Boy and so at least you have something REAL to talk to Jesus about, unlike the rest of us losers.

Sorry...can't join your pity party; you got the best possible deal.

Sheba said...

That hit home!

The Crescat said...

Adoro, this post was not a pity party. It was just an anecdote relating a recent experience.

Terry Nelson said...

And that was a very good and instructive experience. Thanks for sharing.

Roger said...

I saw a woman the other day in adoration doing Yoga. Like Jesus being there is not awesome enough.

Cruise the Groove. said...

I have distractions when praying contemplative prayer such as the rosary.
I have a sweet book that I look at when I meditate on the 15 mysteries.
It has a beginning meditation of the mystery and a lovely drawing of the mystery itself.
It helps immensely.

When I do not have this book I have certain images that I meditate on,for instance, for the 1st Sorrowful Mystery, I think of a huge droplet of blood issuing forth from Our Lords pores as he sweat blood in the garden.

I focus just on the blood drop.

For the Carrying of the Cross up Golgotha I envision the bloody wound of Our Lords right shoulder where the 150 lb plus cross dug into His traps, and I put myself in that wound.
So forth...
It really helps!

Cruise the Groove. said...

Here is the wonderful medidation on the rosary book that I use that helps immensely:

SCCatholic said...

"...the text or twitter version of prayer" Love this!

(tongue in cheek) Ya know, Kat, if you assisted at the EF you wouldn't have problems with stillness and focusing.


Cruise the Groove. said...

"(tongue in cheek) Ya know, Kat, if you assisted at the EF you wouldn't have problems with stillness and focusing."

Tis very true!

Why is your tongue in your cheek?
There is much less of a problem of auditory distraction at the TLM than at most of the NO that I have assisted at, this makes for an easier time of focusing, though there are still internal struggles.
Every little physical assistance helps.

The Crescat said...

Lisa, what do you mean by "if I assisted at the e.f" ? I'm not sure what you mean by "assist"


Cruise the Groove. said...

If I may, "
assist" is an very venerable term to mean "being present at Mass"
We assist at Mass by offering ourselves silently to Almighty God during Mass especially at the Consecration, puting ourselves in the chalice of blood and with the Body of Christ that the priest has just transubstantiated.

Assist is the word the Church uses for us offering ourselves, by being physically present at Mass.
This is the the highest form of "actuoso Participatio"
or as the they know call it
"active participation"

SCCatholic said...

Thanks, Cruise.

Kat, I usually say "participate at Mass" but notice that those who prefer the EF usually say "assist".

I was in a bit of a smark aleck mood when I commented earlier.

Fr. Yousuf said...

Dear Crescat,

This might help:

God bless.
Fr. Yousuf Rassam

Smiley said...

i have the best sleep ever in front of the blessed sacrament. it used to bother me a lot. one day a good preist told me do not children sleep well in their parents arms. good point father. now i dont feel bad when i doze off.

k said...

WOW! This is a COOL blog! At my church we have continuous Adoration. I think," If I were a better Christian I'd walk the half mile every day and see Him to tell him I love him."

k said...

Hey thanks for explaining about "assisting at mass" I always had thought it to mean helping WITH mass-eucharistic minister. The interpretation you gave means that I DO assist being present with our Jesus during the consecration.

Anonymous said...


This is why I pray the Office instead. Especially being an oblate, you might try it. God Himself provides the words - and they're always different.

And use the older version. None of the slash and burn verses are cut out. Lots of head banging and flaying alive - right up your alley.

Bossilla said...

Depending on your parish, they may offer light music for adoration such as Gregorian chant. I know that every so often Franciscan University of Steubenville, OH has Praise and Worship that segways into Eucharistic adoration. It's hard to be distracted when the priest is processing Jesus through the aisles with adoration songs. When I'm alone in adoration, I sing and when others are there I ask their permission. Singing helps me focus my mind.
If I can't get to adoration or I can't focus on the rosary, I go somewhere to listen to quiet music and only then meditate on the mysteries I couldn't focus on before. Ironically, some of my best meditation music comes from orchestrated video game soundtracks because they're so repetitive and I can make up my own catholic lyrics to them.