... I decided to run some errands on my lunch break and check out a local art supply store. It wasn't till I realized that nothing about my surroundings looked familar did I conclude I was lost. Luckily I had foresight enough to write down the phone number to the store. Here is what happened next:
Dude: "'Sup. Pretentious Hipster Art Supply Place Serving Only Cool People Covered in Tats and Piercings. Whatcha need?" [I didn't want to be derogatory and nasty by identifying the company because I am good person.]
Me: "I got a bit turned around. Can you give me directions?"
Dude: *Heavy sigh* "Do you have a GPS?"
Me: "I do. But I left stuck on my windshield in the hot sun. Remember that day when it was 100 degrees, well, I think the heat might have made it stop working and it's broken. I'm so lost without it and ..."
Dude: "Um.... yeah." *I can hear his eyes rolling.* "So, you got a phone with GPS or you go to our website on your cell. The directions are there."
Me: "I'm driving. I can't surf the internet while I drive."
Dude: "You can pull over."
Me: "I don't have a pen. Wait, what? Seriously?"
Dude: *more heavy sighing* "Yeah?"
Me: "You do realize you could have told me how to get there five minutes ago and ended this painful conversation?"
Dude: "Yeah and?"
Me: "Do you serve a purpose other than answering the phone and making sure the store doesn't burn down? Because a robot can do that. Even a monkey. I'm going to call your boss and tell him to replace you with a monkey."
Then I hung up real quick, like a chicken.