Thursday, August 04, 2011

it's almost funny, if it weren't so terrible sad...

... this week has been a rather unfortunate one, full of mishaps and malfunctions.

Last week, a perfectly nice gentleman I was acquainted with asked me to join him for dinner. I happily accepted. We exchanged numbers and asked him to call me to work out the finer details. I had a date.

Aw. This sounds like the beginning of a happy story, doesn't it? Well, it's not. Remember whose blog you're reading. What follows is a true recollection of the events as they unfolded.

Quite pleased with myself that a fine gentleman asked me to dine with him, I went about my normal daily activities in a much better mood. At some point the following day I turned the ringer off on my cell phone. I usually have to at work.

Naturally, I missed his call. But so much time had passed before I noticed the missed call and voice mail, it was far too late in the evening to call him back. It would have to wait till the following evening when I got home from work. Which I did promptly. Only he didn't answer, so I left a message. Then I made dinner, put my son to bed, and decided to retire to the tub.

Here is where things get comically stupid.

He called me back the minute I stepped into the tub. Thirty minutes later I called him back and left another message in response to his.

The next day he called me back... the second I went to the bathroom. You can see where this is going? Over the course of three days, every single time he called I was indisposed and unable to take his call. I was too embarrassed to go into detail on a voice mail why I kept missing his call. Would he really believe it was just unbelievably bad timing or secretly wonder if I suffered from incontinence or kidney failure. Neither condition is terribly attractive to a potential suitor.

I actually spent an entire day in a constant state of fear of using the toilet. I even took my cell in the bathroom with me and stood there for a few minutes trying to will it to ring. Craziness.

Desperate, I also tried other bathrooms. At the movie theater. At work. At a friend's house. But it knew. That bastard piece of technology. Do you know how crazy it sounds to tell someone "Hang on. I just want to go stand in that bathroom over there. I'm expecting a call." Well I know. It sounds crazy.

The last time he called, which was two days ago, he left a very curt message. I'm sure he thinks I'm some flake or was having a laugh at his expense. Or just very very insane. You don't need me to tell you there was never a date.


Terry Nelson said...

This is so "Sleepless in Whatever Southern Town You Live In." Why don't you just schedule a rendevous at the top of the Empire State building?

(I love my humor!)

The Crescat said...

I'm glad I amuse you. Or you amuse yourself. Or something like that.

Thomas said...

Although it's never been in relation to dating or anything, I'm definitely in the same boat when it comes to bad luck with people trying to call me. I can't count how many times I missed plans to hang out with friends or missed an on-the-spot invitation to something because of my cell phone follies. My situation has always been a bit different, though: I tend to miss calls even when my phone is on because of my habit of taking midday naps.

I had hoped going to seminary would make things easier, considering all of the friends I'd hang out with there would be in the same building, but it just made it even more embarassing. Since every daytime hour I'm either in a classroom or a chapel, my phone almost perpetually stays on silents. Nothing's worse than checking your phone, seeing "4 missed calls, 2 texts," and knowing that the person contacting you lives 20 feet away.

HEATHER said...

This is so awful for you!
If it's any consolation, my husband swears that I have some kind of radar to know when he goes to the bathroom at work, because that's exactly when I always call him.

Petunia said...

STOP looking, God knows how to hook you up with just the right one. So stop, smell some roses. God knows where to send him, the one you are waiting for. You are a good person, you deserve to be happy.

Old Bob said...

If it's any consolation, my phone has the same radar as yours.

Lina said...

Can you email him a link to this post? Don't give up!

shadowlands said...

He sounds like a moody frigger to me, sending curt messages at such an early stage in the set-up. I'd send a cool respomse back, telling him if that's his tone, he can forget the date. You have gone to loads of trouble to try and speak with him, including letting him know this by voicemail. He has shown that he doesn't trust you by being curt or maybe doesn't have much confidence in himself. That's OK, to not have much confidence, but he needs to own it, not dump it in your mailbox. What's his number? I'll talk to him (leave him a message explaining)!

It's time he met your blogging associates/friends anyway, it's been going on for nearly a week, I'm beginning to think he doesn't WANT to meet us! Well I don't want to meet him until he apologises, so you can tell him that in a voicemail, from me!

Don't introduce him to Terry yet though, he's bound to say something crazy and utterly unbelievable that would put the poor guy off and send him running for the hills!

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

You've heard of "text messages" right?

"Hi, sorry I just missed your call tonight, and now it seems too late to call you back. Why don't you give me a call at (x time) tomorrow?"

Smiley said...

my boss awnsers the phone in the loo. that is why its a portable phone

The Crescat said...

Hilary, it seems so simple doesn't it. I did text him back when I couldn't take his call at work. I was a bit miffed he called me here but that's beside the point.

It was a brief text saying I would call him when I got off work @ 5pm which I did, and he didn't answer. Maybe he was in the bathroom too.

BurgoFitzgerald said...

Yes, life has become so much more fun and so much easier with all our great little gadgets.

HE sounds like HE is playing games. You know what common sense would dictate? That he try you back 15 minutes later. And another 15 minutes later. And another 15 minutes later. When (most) men REALLY want something, well, in the words of Homer Simpson, "'ll step over your own grandmother to get (it)..." Homer was talking about a beer, but you get my drift.

And the reason I am saying this about him is that my students have told me that this is one of the "techniques" they use with today's modern doodads to actually get out of talking to someone.

I, of course, could be and most likely am wrong.

ArchAngel's Advocate said...

I have a list of phone numbers of those aggravating phone solicitors who always call you 3 times a day (usually at dinner) selling "stimulus incentive mortgage modification loans" (or the like). I'm sure they'd be happy to get his phone number...

Lola said...

My cell phone is just as evil.

This latest one (a pre-paid) I haven't even tried to set up my voice mail.

I don't even give my number out anymore. "Just call my house phone. I'll see your number and call you back." So in a way, I'm 20 years behind. I'm using this amazing gift of technology like a pager. Do they even sell pagers anymore?

BTW thank your Angel and the Good Lord for giving you a peek into this 'very nice gentleman's" character.

He so far hasn't worked very hard. And he's curt?

What pushed a couple of digits to make a phone call?

I'm asking St. Joseph to find you a nice man for you...

I think BurgoFitzgerald is spot-on with the Beer analogy.

Men today as always need to work for their prize.

Christine said...

If he's leaving curt messages this early on, sounds like you're better off without him.

Badger Catholic said...

What ever happened to good ol' fashioned texting?

Plus he might be putting the three day rule into effect. *See Swingers.

NBW said...

Maybe he's not the right one. He seems impatient. You're better off with a more patient and understanding man.

Cruise the Groove. said...

Its not meant to be.

Stop trying.
If you are.

I say this in all seriousness as years ago I tried to find the right woman.

I just said a prayer, back then, if it is Gods will that I get married then so be it, and stopped dating or even looking for women.

About 6 months after that I met the lady that I have been married to for almost 7 years.
Without trying.

Anonymous said...

"You know what common sense would dictate? That he try you back 15 minutes later. And another 15 minutes later. And another 15 minutes later."

Um, no it wouldn't. If he did this post would be about the stalker dude that kept calling every 15 minutes.

On another note, 5pm is probably the worst time to call someone. In the future, if you miss a call, just text back and tell him to call you at X time.


The Crescat said...

Steve is correct. Every 15 minutes would have had me changing my number.

Too bad, though, 5-6pm is usually the only time I have to talk to people. Most of my personal calls are made on my cell commuting from one job to the next.

Oh, well. Live and learn. And the hilarity ensues.

RoseW said...

Call me crazy, but is there a good reason he never answered when you called him?

Seems like if he really wanted to hear from you, he would have answered one of those times, unless he was just as technologically challenged as you were.